Relationship: she-is-out-of-my-league dilemma; how to make yourself presentable to ladies (part one)


Many times i see guys chase after girls and try to shoot their shots with different tactics, but most guys shoot and miss their target. In the end they return home sad and depressed at the end of a bad outing like a fisherman with no single catch to show.

They seem to be oblivious of certain things they need to deal with, of certain criterias they should meet before they can be licensed to carry a gun or an arrow and shoot the love shot at a lady(s)

When people do things or engage in an activity for a long time they become so accustomed to doing it such that they tend to see it as facile and effortless as it ever could be. What do you think makes doing it possible? “Confidence”.

Humans have advanced so much that our brains don’t have to think or affirm that we can do a lot of things before we actually find ourselves doing it, or do you still tell yourself “I can do it” before getting out of bed, taking your bath or eating your breakfast?

It can be said that confidence and self-belief engulfs your daily life and makes you “feel cool” with doing many things. But when it comes to engaging and relating with people (especially ladies) you need your confidence level to rise so as to help communicate smoothly and effectively.

People ask sometimes that what has confidence got to do with your relationship with people “is it not only for you to open your mouth and words will fly out”. Well for you to open up shows you have your self-esteem intact, you’ve got something to say and a confident demeanor to back it up.

Have you ever been in a meeting or even a classroom and someone walks in, probably a lecturer, the CEO of a firm or even a fellow student and the moment this person walks in you feel the atmosphere change, the ambience of the room becomes tranquil.

It’s not magic, it’s just their confidence oozing out. Its because “the expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s body”. Your cloth might not be worth 10,000 naira but your smile and confident body language could be worth a million.

Every lady “who is intentional about having a relationship” always wants to be with a confident partner, you know why? just as laughter is contagious, confidence is also contagious and it improves every aspect of one’s life.

Confidence is not something far fetched, instead it’s something that starts from you as an individual. Although many youths in our society grow up in toxic environments and this could have hampered the way some people see themselves, this is the more reason why confidence is badly affected from inside a person.

Many people grow up with a low self esteem usually as a result of their parents over involvement, excessive control and methods employed in influencing their children’s lives.

As early mentioned confidence is like a perfume that produces pleasant scents for a person’s body, it’s an energy that radiates in a person and makes him/her to shine and become attractive to others. Relationship wise confidence is a natural attraction to ladies.

The reason why most guys get turned down and their shots backfire is because they send off the wrong signal, the wrong body language, the wrong energy.

This doesn’t have to do with the looks most times, but because ladies are very sensitive creatures they see inside a guy trying to form his way into romance, trying to play the “Mr Nice guy card”. But can you always fake what you don’t have without getting caught?

In the way you walk, talk and behave when confidence is showing, your chances of shooting successful romantic shots are high.

Ladies are searching for many qualities in a man, not only what you have in your pocket but also what you have in your chest. Sometimes your wallet power might fail you but your courage, confidence and composure will come in handy.

Growing in confidence is crucial, so instead of you wondering how other guys successfully shoot their shots at nymphs, why don’t you grow.

One way to grow in confidence is to change your self-talk, if you always see yourself as inferior you’ve got to start seeing yourself as superior. Tell yourself positive things, acknowledge your weakness is some areas and work toward becoming better

Confidence is not the only way to find romance but is a major ingredient in achieving such feat and breaking away from the much dreaded “friend zone circle”.

So instead of you sulking that a girl is way out of your league and its because of bad luck that you can’t “toast” ladies, why don’t you create a league for yourself.

Confidence is the starting point to that. In the words of William Hazlit “As is our confidence so is our capacity”, believe in yourself, by continually affirming your positive traits you’ll begin to see yourself in a new light.

By so doing even if a lady rejects you, you practically won’t feel bad because you have not rejected yourself.



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  • Adekunle Oluwatobi

    Adekunle Oluwatobi is a poet and a writer with a profound interest in discussions aimed at building a productive society and fostering peaceful coexistence.
    He is friendly, amicable and also an ardent sports enthusiast. A lover of books and quality information, he is on a quest of reaching out to people by improving the quality of information they receive.

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