Bestie, is a slang or word used by Nigerian youths to refer to their choice friends among many. The encyclopedia says a bestie is a best friend or close friend. Besties covers the two genders, a male can be a bestie to a female vice versa. A criterion of a bestie is the person you love and with whom you spend lots of time.
In quora, Bestie is someone who is somehow moody, but still manages to be the best and always beside her friend, no matter how wrong, naughty the friend is, he or she is always in their favour.
A bestie can get dressed while his or her bestie is in the room but not possible with a best friend. They can talk about some of the weirdest stuff, exchanging I LOVE YOU with them having a place for each other in their heart.
However, there are many differences between bestie and best friend as bestie is mostly referred to as a soulmate, sharing everything in common, but best friends on the other hand may share things in common but not all. In childhood, we had so many friends but there we are not considered a bestie or best friend, because at that time we will play with so many friends.
In Nigeria tertiary institutions and most times outside campuses, the concept of bestie is rampant as many students indulge in the habit of calling their male and female friends besties with other motives behind it while others stand on the normal and dictionary meaning alone.
In an exciting manner of being students of universities, polytechnics, college of education, and health colleges, they were eager to make friends by having someone to call through “When are we having class and when is the venue” major chat of freshers on campuses across the country.
The next day, she picked up the phone again, “Segun, when are we having class today? I’m really sorry for disturbing your peace, and it is because I am not familiar with lecture theatres. In his seniority reply, ” the venue is not far from yesterday’s venue” but remember I am not your bestie and you can not inconvenience me all the time. Boom!!! The concept vibrated her modular oblongata as she asked, ‘WHAT IS BESTIE’.
In his cool voice and experience, he lectured her as they were being lectured in the four walls of the classroom, literally meaning and miscellaneous activities and she had no option than opting in to avoid missing classes.
It is the weekend, she visited and started writing the examinations of the course being taught in class for no gain. She has no excuse for being a fresher and inexperienced.
Research has shown that over 90 percent of students in Nigeria tertiary institutions misinterpret the concept turning it to bestie with benefit. Those who misinterpreted this concept also initiate the naive ones by exposing and widen their scope to the benefit called, “COME AND DO SMALL”.
However, it was gathered that many relationships had ended as a result of besties that are murky to the other people in the relationship. It was reported that many relationships that had ended have the largest female populations as many ladies can not survive their boyfriends or husbands having besties while guys retain the low populations.
In the research, it was shown that those who launch besties or get hold of new ones are staylites who in the course of showing freshers around the campus or teach them some hard to understand courses get hold of them for sexual urge satisfaction. Furthermore, it was revealed that many indulge in this because of money and fame of associating with big girls and boys on campus.
Nowadays, as there are uncontrolled illegal ways of making money are increasing drastically as a result of bad economic systems and governance, many ladies submit to be on the track of big mama and girls on campus due to their partner’s financial problems while guys adapt to it in to keep fit financially as well as filling their belle.
On the other hand, it was recorded that many have turned to worthy and great people in the society and campus as a result of bestie influence.
How bestie can affect a relationship
For some men and women, being friends with the opposite sex is nothing to compare with sharing the same bond with same-sex. In the place of other women or men, they choose to nurture friendships because, plainly, the negative energy Is usually not as much as what you get with the same sex.
Opposite sex friendships can be fun. Being a babe and having a male or female bestie has its perks, but also makes for an interesting spectacle when one falls in love. It’s not always a good thing or a bad thing, but it changes things.
Firstly, besties know all too well better than the spouse while they also give rise to rise to an effort, but won’t be easy to suddenly trap on all the things besties probably had years to learn. Sometimes they get gifts that seem to be more receptive than what their spouse gets.
Furthermore, boundaries may not be respected or oftentimes fall in love with each other. Most times whenever the partners demand these boundaries to be strictly respected, besties may suddenly start feeling frozen out and relinquished.
More so, it will be hard for a spouse to pick a point and may actually be with someone else or bestie.
Reactions
In an interview with some students, this reporter was able to get reactions from students on some basic scopes, reasons, effects as well as meaning attached to it by students and possible ways forward.
Peter(not his real name) said having a bestie is not a scandal and it can be defined as the best activities and ways of having someone to trust whenever the time requests.
According to him, “To be frank and sincere with you, I have more than six female besties and we are best of friends in school and after graduation, we still maintain the lane.
“I have heard about it from many, but I have not practiced it. Am hoping to put it into practice one day, though my parents must not hear about it”, said a student who spoke on anonymity.”
Also, a student who identifies herself as Sayo affirmed that there was no offence or big title attached to the concept but it depends on how the two parties see it. Furthermore, she urged those giving it other meaning to halt the illegal act.
“I have heard about ‘come and do small’ from one of my friends who had a bestie when we were admitted into the university and since then, I had been looking for the meaning of the phrase because he failed to give the meaning,” said Segun, a student of AAUA.
Others who responded to the questions made the assertion of finding a way to eradicate the act of using besties to satisfy sexual urges or see it as a free sexual intercourse mode, money generation, fame and other benefits that might be attached to it in an illegal way.
Author
Omosola Friday Oke , popularly know as Honour-Pen, a student of mass communication department with optimistic of serving the nation and world with the use of pen. A poet, relationship consultant and human right activist.