Falling Out of Forgiveness in Relationships

On social media platforms, people tend to admire couples who celebrate 30 or more years anniversary and these admirers wish they can have a replica of that —a home with beautiful and fantastic matrimony — as we hope but unaware of what’s transpiring underground.

If asked, “What is the secret for their marriage longevity?” Most of them would say “forgiveness” and couple do not fall out of love; they fall out of forgiveness, which is the only medicine and car to drive a long distance with great speed without accident.

Forgiveness does not mean that you approve of, accept, excuse, or forget about the offense (in cases of severe offenses, forgiveness also does not mean going back to your abusive or neglectful partner).  Because of this, you forgive in spite of the offence or the offender.

Did you know? You could secure that your about-to-break long relationship if you imbibe the act of forgiveness despite what the other party says? Have you ever confirmed the verity of that third party claims about your spouse?

Forgiveness can help you feel more satisfied in your relationship, sustain your relationship through hard times, and help your relationship function better. Forgiving your partner can also be very beneficial for your physical, emotional, and psychological health. 

Further, even though forgiveness might be easier when the offender apologizes, you can still forgive even if your partner is not apologizing.

Keep in mind, though, that forgiveness takes time.  As much as you may want it to be a simple decision that takes no more than an instant, you will likely find that forgiveness is often more complex than that. Forgiveness is a gradual process by which you remove a poison that would otherwise slowly weaken both you and your relationship. 

Nevertheless, the good news is that you can forgive, and it can help you and your relationship. It is certainly not the only thing you will need to make your relationship work, just as one gear in a clock won’t make the hands turn by itself. 

What lack of forgiveness can cause in a marriage and relationship are numerous such as loss of lives and properties and amongst others. Do not assume or affirm that some relationships or marriages are without loopholes or potholes, we are all humans. We, humans directly or indirectly cover the bad and ugly side of our life.


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  • Omosola Friday Oke

    Omosola Friday Oke , popularly know as Honour-Pen, a student of mass communication department with optimistic of serving the nation and world with the use of pen. A poet, relationship consultant and human right activist.

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